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About Chad Chamley
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Bar Scene Breakdown
By Chad Chamley November 3, 2005
| Comments (3) | Share
I spend a lot of time in a variety of bars, and no matter where I go there always seems to be the same types of people there. Most of them are just out for a few drinks with friends, others are there on a mission. What ever their intentions are I guarantee that you will see at least one, if not more, of the following people at your local pub.
"The Dancing Queen"
Most bars playing loud music will have a few of these. These girls (and sometimes men) seem to only be happy when they are dancing, usually by themselves or with another girl. They don't care that their bar tab is being driven up by the mass amounts of the drinks that get spilled. I do however get a kick out of these people because the majority of them don't know how to dance.
"The Striped Shirt Guy"
You will usually find this guy at dance clubs sipping on Long Island Ice Teas or Gin & Tonic hitting on anything with a vagina. Most of the time you will see these guys in striped button down shirt packs, feasting on the drunkest dirtiest girls at the club. These guys are very easy to spot not only because of the stripped shirt but because of the stench of the excess use of Tag/Axe body spray.
"The Normie"
The "Normie" has a lot of the same characteristics as the great Cheers character. They're just sitting at the bar or table with a few friends drinking beer. Normies are probably the least mobile of the bar patrons (by choice), only getting up to relieve themselves or get more beer if the waitstaff isn't available. These usually friendly people tend to mind themselves as long as there is a beer in front of them and something to talk about.
"The Douchebag"
A close relative to the "striped shirt" guy except they don't care how they look or act and they are usually pissing people off. I will say this about this group. Despite their douchebaggedness (is that a word?) they always seem like their having fun. However, they are the ones who choose to go out in public looking like an asshole.
"The Social Butterfly"
These girls seem to know everybody or at least try to know everybody if you know what I mean. These girls are generally nice and can sometimes be a little misleading. They're usually just really talkative when they are drunk or at least that's there excuse. I like to believe that it's because they're women and don't know how to keep quiet for extended periods of time. Don't confuse them with....
"The Skank"
These girls usually head to the bar with an agenda that 9.999 times out of ten does not involve me. I good way to spot these girls is to see who is laughing at the douchebag's jokes or who is surrounded by striped shirts. These girls love the attention but will tell you otherwise if you call them on it. Which its why you should stay away from them. Unless you're....
"The Manwhore"
They can easily be confused with the striped shirt guy the only difference is that the striped shirt guy cares more about his appearance then getting laid. The manwhore will stop at nothing to bring home some tail. Even if it means spending $80 on vodka cranberries or amaretto sours.
"The Creepy Old Guy"
Usually found at college bars, the creepy old guy seems to be always sitting in the same spot every time you go to the bar. I haven't figured out he mystery behind their ability to give girls chills with just one look. Look out for the ones who like to make physical contact with you.
"The Sloppy Drunk"
These people are always fun to watch from a distance. They can either be a guy or a girl. When its a guy its the one yelling and staggering around just before the bouncers kick him out. The girls are always being dragged around because they've lost the ability to use their feet, which doesn't seem to keep them from laughing.
"Mr./Miss Karoke"
It doesn't have to be Karoke night for these people to come out. They will sing (horribly) every song that the bar is playing. These people have the potential to ruin a night out, especially if they're traveling in groups. And don't tell these people that they are bad singers because they will spend the rest of the night trying to prove you wrong.
Share
I spend a lot of time in a variety of bars, and no matter where I go there always seems to be the same types of people there. Most of them are just out for a few drinks with friends, others are there on a mission. What ever their intentions are I guarantee that you will see at least one, if not more, of the following people at your local pub.
"The Dancing Queen"
Most bars playing loud music will have a few of these. These girls (and sometimes men) seem to only be happy when they are dancing, usually by themselves or with another girl. They don't care that their bar tab is being driven up by the mass amounts of the drinks that get spilled. I do however get a kick out of these people because the majority of them don't know how to dance.
"The Striped Shirt Guy"
You will usually find this guy at dance clubs sipping on Long Island Ice Teas or Gin & Tonic hitting on anything with a vagina. Most of the time you will see these guys in striped button down shirt packs, feasting on the drunkest dirtiest girls at the club. These guys are very easy to spot not only because of the stripped shirt but because of the stench of the excess use of Tag/Axe body spray.
"The Normie"
The "Normie" has a lot of the same characteristics as the great Cheers character. They're just sitting at the bar or table with a few friends drinking beer. Normies are probably the least mobile of the bar patrons (by choice), only getting up to relieve themselves or get more beer if the waitstaff isn't available. These usually friendly people tend to mind themselves as long as there is a beer in front of them and something to talk about.
"The Douchebag"
A close relative to the "striped shirt" guy except they don't care how they look or act and they are usually pissing people off. I will say this about this group. Despite their douchebaggedness (is that a word?) they always seem like their having fun. However, they are the ones who choose to go out in public looking like an asshole.
"The Social Butterfly"
These girls seem to know everybody or at least try to know everybody if you know what I mean. These girls are generally nice and can sometimes be a little misleading. They're usually just really talkative when they are drunk or at least that's there excuse. I like to believe that it's because they're women and don't know how to keep quiet for extended periods of time. Don't confuse them with....
"The Skank"
These girls usually head to the bar with an agenda that 9.999 times out of ten does not involve me. I good way to spot these girls is to see who is laughing at the douchebag's jokes or who is surrounded by striped shirts. These girls love the attention but will tell you otherwise if you call them on it. Which its why you should stay away from them. Unless you're....
"The Manwhore"
They can easily be confused with the striped shirt guy the only difference is that the striped shirt guy cares more about his appearance then getting laid. The manwhore will stop at nothing to bring home some tail. Even if it means spending $80 on vodka cranberries or amaretto sours.
"The Creepy Old Guy"
Usually found at college bars, the creepy old guy seems to be always sitting in the same spot every time you go to the bar. I haven't figured out he mystery behind their ability to give girls chills with just one look. Look out for the ones who like to make physical contact with you.
"The Sloppy Drunk"
These people are always fun to watch from a distance. They can either be a guy or a girl. When its a guy its the one yelling and staggering around just before the bouncers kick him out. The girls are always being dragged around because they've lost the ability to use their feet, which doesn't seem to keep them from laughing.
"Mr./Miss Karoke"
It doesn't have to be Karoke night for these people to come out. They will sing (horribly) every song that the bar is playing. These people have the potential to ruin a night out, especially if they're traveling in groups. And don't tell these people that they are bad singers because they will spend the rest of the night trying to prove you wrong.
Share
3 Comments
(Post new comment)I would like to think I don't fit into any of these categories... maybe there should be another category.... the girl that wants to get laid by someone who is not "The Striped Shirt Guy"
"The Douchebag"
"The Manwhore"
"The Creepy Old Guy"
Or "The Sloppy Drunk"
and does not have an STD or a kid, etc.
Yup.
I'm afraid I've never encountered someone like that at the bars I go to.
Im closest too the striped shirt guy and the normie, because about once a month i wear a striped shirt, but usually sit at a table w/ friends i went with only hitting on girls i know..... that aren't sluts.
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