I'm Still a Heterosexual Guys!

By Jayceon Taylor

Hey, you guys. Lately I've been sensing just a wee bit of confusion about whether I'm a heterosexual or a homosexual. Well, I thought I'd take this moment and clear the air for anybody that's still wondering:

Jayceon is all about the ladies!

Sometimes I feel like my songs don't really do this justice, you know? It's just that there's so much to cover: gangs, violence, drugs, gang violence, and some combination of all of the above only leave so much time to explore my sexuality on my albums. My HETEROsexuality, that is. I try to sneak in little reminders on some songs, but they can be subliminal (I'm a big Pink Floyd fan, to be honest), and I'm not sure everybody gets them. Here's one I threw in on a song called "No More Fun and Games" (a song that was ironically very fun to record and is good to have in the background during Scrabble!):

I'm in a class all by myself like the brown Eminem.
Not to down Eminem I fuck black bitches, fuck white bitches, nigga I like bitches.
Them half and half Alicia Keys dyke bitches.

There's a lot there, so I'm going to go through it all slowly. I think we all know who multi-platinum recording artist Eminem is, but if you don't...well he's a multiplatinum recording artist. LOL. It's sort of an open secret in the rap community that "bitches" is slang for women. So when I say, "I fuck bitches", it's my way of saying, "Guys, I'm as straight as a throbbing erection".

Nigga is another tricky one. It's a bastardized form of the word "nigger", which first gained prominence as a racial slur directed hatefully at generations of oppressed blacks, a word inextricably tied up in a legacy of pain and abuse. Now it's used colluqially as a term of address or endearment by black people. Also still as a hateful slur.

Sometimes, a guy as straight as me might be accused of homophobia. Haha, people. Nothing could be farther from the truth - heck, I think we've all wondered what it would be like to slip a soapy hand around a friend's penis in the shower, am I right? I think my lyrics clearly show that I'm ok with homosexuality -- even them "dyke" bitches.

I'm helping reclaim a hateful word!

You all might have heard a little something about a feud I had with the boy band "G-Unit". It was a little silly really - they didn't like who I was hanging out with, so we had an argument, then we hugged and made up, and then we shot some people. Kid's stuff you know? Anyway, I made a little song called "The Funeral" where I tried to bury the hatchet by sharing my heterosexuality-fueled knowledge of bitches (women):

When the last time you seen 'em with some hot bitches?
See what he say when you ask him, "Where the hot bitches?"
Check the Adam's Apple, nigga them is not bitches,

Based on a true story, I might add! We don't hang out much (shootings and stuff, plus I called them G-Unot...get it?), so I called Llyod Banks up with a jovial, "Where the hot bitches?"

I'm too nice to repeat what he said, but suffice to say that he implied that I in fact was a bitch!

I would just hate for Lloyd Banks to find what he thinks is a lovely young lady, only to later realize that it's actually a gentleman. It's a little known scientific fact that women have less pronounced Adam's apples then men, but we've all be fooled by that one a few times, you know?

Anyway, I should get going. I'm working on a new song called Your Pussy And Why I Should Be Inside Of It, and I'm stuck on a rhyme for a line ending in bitches.

Hmm...maybe bitches?

Buy my album to find out!!