Cat robotYou ever realize how as you get to know someone better, your level of punctuation and capitalization on emails and Facebook and stuff gets progressively worse? I wish I could just cut to the chase and treat everyone with reckless grammatical abandon. How do you tell people that the less effort you put into them, the more you actually care? Married men, comments?

Why do we even keep up with the world’s oldest person anymore? Once you get the honor, you lose it. In death, no less. We could feasibly have a new “world’s oldest person” every day; would that still make the news? Which also leads me to wonder, are super old people out there killing each other to snag the honor?

I tried to create a new Yahoo account the other day and I couldn’t get past the image CAPTCHA. I tried seven times before I finally got it right. I almost thought I really was a bot.

When robots rule the world, do you think there will be a spam test to weed out humans from the internet? Like there will be a picture of a group of stars in a distant galaxy and you have to type in its name, “Abell 1835 IR1916,” or you can’t post your dumbass YouTube comment or Urban Dictionary entry.

Is every porn pun already taken? Is there a master database adult producers check before naming their movies? Would that database be called the “Masterbatabase”?

The sound on my computer stopped working after I installed iTunes recently. So, per my self-Googled remedy, I went to dell.com to update my audio drivers. I finally found the two I needed, only to be prompted by Dell: “To download more than one download, you need to download the Download Manager. Would you like to download the Download Manager now?” For all you skeptics, this is why robots will rule the world soon. (And the Singularity, if you care.) And in case you were wondering, the Download Manager does take his commission on every download you perform, but it’s only 10%, so you’ll still have MOST of what you need on your favorite applications. Unfortunately, the Download Manager is kind of ghetto, so if you haven’t yet downloaded Google Chrome, you’re probably only going to get Google Hubcap.

RELATED:  Undecidedly Middle Class

Suggested Next