Xavier MustacheRomance:

I think it's ok to have sex with a third cousin, if the first two have gained a lot of weight.

Politics:

I don't want to be the Vice President, just the President of Vices.

Family:

I guess a 5th birthday party is too late for a coathanger abortion, but I'll be damned if that clown didn't give it the ol' college try.

Employment:

I'm not a clown, I just dress up like one for birthday parties and weddings.

Religion:

I think Christianity was invented by people who enjoyed robbing and pillaging, but were too lazy to work more than once a week.

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