Alright Let's Get the Michael Jackson Jokes Over With

I wonder how long it'll take all that plastic to biodegrade.  I sure hope the EPA is aware of the threat to Earth. 

St. Peter's first words to Michael Jackson: "Wow.  Umm... Sorry about looking so shocked but you really have changed. I was expecting someone with slightly different features and without that boy-sin shine to him."

But ladies and gentlemen, the real winners in all of this are, of course, Michael Jackson's children. 

And if I could be serious for a moment, my heart goes out to some of the worst plastic surgeons in the history of the practice... because they're probably now all unemployed. 

We're still waiting on the cause of all this.  You know, we still don't know why his heart just up and Beat It. 

What's that?  Oh, it turns out that Michael Jackson's premature death may have had something to do with Demerol and perhaps Oxycontin, which makes him I believe the very fist musician to die in a drug related fashion.  I could be wrong though. 

Michael Jackson will of course be remembered for creating the Moonwalk and wearing a glove on one hand for no damn reason.  So, there's that. 

Remember when his hair caught fire filming that soda commercial?  That was hilarious.  I don't even need a joke, his hair caught on fire while filming a soft drink commercial.  I'm pretty sure that only happens to Michael Jackson.  But truthfully, I don't have the stats to back that up. 

If they wrote a book about Michael Jackson, and they called it Thriller, and it was actually a biography, would that be lying?

But seriously though, Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, who gave us so many headlines and weird ass stories, as well as some songs, will be laid to rest soon.  He has passed away at the young age of fifty and he will be mourned... by a bunch of people who are hoping there's some cash left. 

God speed and good luck you weirdo.