Dear Court Sullivan

This is an open letter to Court Sullivan. The other day I logged on to the website, and up at the top I noticed a little flashing banner that informed me that I was in fact, the 1,000,000 visitor to the website. It told me if I clicked, I would win a prize. But seeing how I know Court on a professional level, I figured I would just write this letter to him. So Court, I need to know...

Where the fuck is my prize at? And what exactly is my prize? Is it an I-Pod, a new laptop, a PS3, two tickets to paradise? C'mon Court, quit being greedy and just give me my prize. There is no need to dance around the subject anymore. You have it, I won it, and I want and need it. I expect it to be mailed to me by next week, and if it's not, I'll sue for false advertisement.

I'm not trying to sound like a dick or anything, but I really need this. You know, my bills snuck up on me faster than I thought, and uh, if you could just give me cash instead that would be awesome. I mean, if you already bought the prize, I have no problem pawning it off. It's just the principle of the matter I guess.

I respect you though Court, so I trust that you'll send whatever it is I won. Please do this for me, I need it.

                        Sincerely in mass debt,
                            John Gillespie

P.S. If I don't see my prize in one weeks time, I'm just going to assume I have permission to break into your dwelling and take it. Thanks.