A guy I barely know and whose name I cannot remember once told me that he didn’t workout because he hated math.  I think that’s the best excuse for not working out.

And that’s the thing about regular exercise in this day and age.  Most gyms offer day care service and 24 hour availability.  The excuse that someone doesn’t have enough time is often negated by the hours of television they watch or the mere fact that simply by exercising more, they will need less sleep, provided they aren’t fall down drunks anyway.  There’s no viable excuse for not exercising.  Gyms everywhere have people who force you to admit that your reason for not working out is because you are just a lazy fatass. 

So you join.  And if you like it, you stay for a while.     

If you work out at a gym long enough you become Face Friends with a lot of the people who go there.  You see them all the time.  You don’t know their names but you know what they look like and in the cases of attractive females, you may even have a few favorite outfits.  You don’t talk to each other except out of necessity and polite courtesy.  They don’t bother you and you don’t bother them.  Which is more than you can say for most friendships. 

Come to think of it, taking your real friends to the gym is a drag.  Coordinating the meeting time, compromising on workout regimens, talking, waiting too long… the whole thing kind of sucks.  Unless you meet a real friend in the gym and they automatically turn into a Face Friend.  That’s kind of cool.  I mean, they don’t offer you more than common courtesy because they’re busy finishing up so they can leave. 

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And that’s another thing about the gym.  For most of us, the major goal is to get our stuff done and leave.  No real work gets done at a gym. You just pick stuff up, move it around and put it right back where you left it.  Nothing is really accomplished but you feel good. 

What was I typing about again?  Oh yeah, leaving the gym, that’s the goal.  That’s why I don’t trust people who hang out in gyms when they’re done with their workouts.  Beware of these people.  They usually have no friends.  And there’re usually reasons for that. 

Now some people will tell you that they met their significant other at a gym and that gyms are a great place for mingling.  I don’t like these people.  They mingle on the machines I want to use.  They should stop that.  I’d punch them but it’s not legal and there’d be a lot of witnesses. 

Today at the gym, I walked in front of a guy doing curls so I could put a free weight back on the rack.  I know it’s poor etiquette but the place was packed and I didn’t want to leave it on the floor.  After the dude using the mirror finished his curling, he said to his spotter, "You believe that kid."

"Don’t worry about him," said his spotter, looking over at me.  "He’s cool."

"What, you know him or something?"

"No, but I see him all the time. He’s alright.  It’s crowded.  You know how it is," and he nodded at me. 

I nodded back. 

I don’t know either of them in the slightest. 

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And we’re Face Friends.

It’s nice not knowing people.  You know?

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