Me: Wow. I cannot believe how much Winnie the Poo shit you have.
Janine: It’s a hobby.
Me: No. Hobbies are like when you collect coins or build model airplanes. This is an unhealthy obsession.
Stu: How do you think I feel? I’m gonna be trapped in this apartment for thirty days surrounded by Winnie the Poo. Read More »

I'm going to go out on a limb and figure most of you don't know ZZ Top, given the fact that most of you rather click AC/DC Ringtone Ads than comment on my blog (fuck you, seriously). Read More »

I'm back with more stupid questions. Comment with your answers, e-mail me or just tell me. Read More »

This is the first in a long, long series of articles explaining the true meaning behind awesome rock anthems' lyrics, inspirations and otherwise. Read More »

The world is filled with ignorant mofos who don't know nothing about finance but assume, because the economy is all over the news, that they understand just what is going on in the market.  Too many ignorant people are jumping all over a complex topic mainly because they want to sound smart at parties.  And well, I'm so freaking fed up with dumbass speculation that it's a good thing I'm not l Read More »

Read More »

And we’re back (somewhat). I thank you all for being so kind about “No Recess” which should prove to all writers that improvement is always achievable. Read More »

Apparently, some teens in some town in Massachusetts had a "pregnancy pact" whereby they agreed to try to get pregnant. Which a lot of people are down on, but I happen to be ecstatic about. Because I love underaged girls, and I love MILFS, and I love a good 2 for 1. Read More »

ATTENTION PEDOPHILES:  I WILL BANG YOU!

DISCLAIMER:  I WILL ONLY BANG WOMEN.  

 If you haven't been paying attention to the news, there has been an outbreak of student/tecaher sex scandels in the Tampa Bay, FL area.  Female teachers have been banging 17 and 18 year old students.  Read More »

International House would like to invite you to the biggest party of the year, 'Da Bomb'.  With six DJs, and over 600 speakers, this is an event that will not let you down. Read More »

Beth, tonight is the night when I will finally sex you.  I know you've been waiting for this moment for a long time.  I could tell, from the way you looked at me, that you wanted me to sex you. Read More »

This morning for the first time in about 16 years, I awoke to something new and loud. Could maybe the Germans be air-raiding Brooklyn? Was there a fire in my building? Could Supreme High Master Voknort answer my prayers and robot aliens finally be abducting me?

Nope.  Read More »

I want to get back to my regularly scheduled programming.  I miss writing for y'all and now that we got the kinks worked out with the blog (with the exception of complete archives and title which we're working on, and by we I mean Court and his minions) I'm ready to continue doing my thing.  Whatever the hell it is.  Read More »

Well this has been fun, hasn't it?  I feel y'all know way too much about my early writing at this point.  I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I felt stupid for posting it.   

EPILOGUE

Mary Strothmire gave birth to a boy named Alan Durbin, who has a fantastic combination of red hair and freckles. Read More »

Chapter 21

"Pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death."

            T.S. Eliot, Ash Wednesday

Sunday, December 31, 1999

Ethan heard a pounding on his sliding glass door.  He and Deborah, dressed for a night on the town, rose from the couch. Read More »