Well, the results are in. Recently, due to an arrest of NBA player Ron Artest for domestic violence, ESPN.com took a poll of two thousand professional athletes in an attempt to deduce the top 10 reasons to slap a wife. I’ve reprinted the list here because we all know that ESPN.com needs the traffic help.
Bitch was looking a little heavy.
Bitch went on a radio talk show and forgot to plug my website.
Seriously man, it was the steroids.
Man, I was drunk and the bitch? I think she was talking or something. Anyway, she deserved it.
What, I need a reason? Go fuck yourself.
She likes it. No, really.
Got tired of my lack of media coverage. Needed to stir the pot a little.
She insulted my mistress.
And the Number 1 reason that professional male athletes hit their wives is:
For the cardio.
Thanks, I’ll be here all week. And don’t forget to tip your cows.