Dear Dog the Bounty Hunter’s Wife’s Boobs,

Wow. FUCKING wow. WOW.

I don’t know what to say.

I mean..I just..where do..so..do you..

Dog the Bounty Hunter and wife Beth

You guys give new meaning to the term ginormous. 

There is no word in the English language or any other language to describe you. Astronomical describes you if you were like 20% of your current size, Dog the Bounty Hunter’s Wife’s Boobs. Massive, enormous, huge, gigantic all fail to describe you accurately without hugely understating your size and "girth."

Have you ever considered donating some of yourself to third-world countries?

Where does one get a bra to contain you? I mean, obviously no bra can actually contain you, since you’re always about 65% out, but hey, that’s part of why I like you.

So…you want to go out for dinner later? I’m sure you need at least 3 square meals a day…

If someone stabs you with a pen, do you deflate?

What do you like to do for fun?

I can’t tell whether I love you or hate you.

I can’t tell whether I should throw up or masturbate when I see you.

So I do both, but that’s besides the point. Don’t judge me, Dog the Bounty Hunter’s Wife’s Boobs. I think you break several laws just by being so cleavage-y. I mean for FUCKS SAKES there’s kids around.

Who did you vote for, D the BH’s W’s Bs?

Kucinich? What the FUCK? Bro?

Don’t think he was on the ballot bro, bro.

Oh, you wrote it in? Really?

Kucinich?

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