So I attempted to write an article while smoking Northern Lights. I started smoking at the beginning of the article and I'll document how far I made it until I was just to high. I have a bubbler that holds somewhere between a joint and a blunts worth of weed in it. I took the entire thing to the face. I know I can't write worth shit when I am high, but attempt to at least once a week. Read More »

Hidey Ho Gang! I am wickedly hungover right now. It's Wednesday, and that means...Questions of the Week!!! Yay. Answer the hell out of these things.

Bones came up with this hard-fucking-core rhyme:

"i've got a million bitches hangin on my cock,
but they don't love me they just crave the rock."

A friend back in North Dakota wrote: Read More »

Prepare for the most amazing sporting event of your life, my dear Freemanites. The NYU Swim Team Boys will be reuniting for the First Annual NYU Alumni Meet Saturday November 22nd at 1 p.m. EST. The old guys will swim against the young guys. I will be one of the old guys, albeit an extremely good looking and sophisticated old guy. Read More »

Here is a mantra by which I like to live my life: There is a difference between disorganized and disgusting; piles and loose papers are messy but at least they're germ-free, old food and bodily fluids are fucking nasty, I don't care how nicely your bed is made, you better clean that shit up. (OK, it's not that refined of a mantra. Read More »

It doesn't matter how well you can brawl, sometimes you can just look at a person and tell, yeah, that person would kick the shit out of me. I think about stuff like this all the time. It's not that I am sizing up people, it's just sober me has to plan out who drunk me can and cannot fight. Read More »

Gang, we've had a lot of fun here a lot of times. I know I seem like this squeaky clean celebrity personality, which I am. For the most part.

But I have a confession to make. Now, please don't blow this out of proportion or anything. It's serious, but not that serious.

Okay, I know this will jeopardize my career in many different ways, but I can't live this lie any longer. Read More »

Bro, did I just catch your eyes wandering down my naked body past my golden rippling chest and sneak a peek at my man vagina AKA my penis?

Bro, that shit ain't cool. That shit is real weak. Just because I'm standing up here in my birthday suit for all to see doesn't mean you're off the hook with the whole heterosexuality thing, and can just go all queer. Read More »

What's up gang? That's not one of the Weekly Questions, but you can answer it if you want.

1. Nixon had a bowling alley. Teddy Roosevelt probably had a badass tire swing installed. If you elected me, I'd definitely put a waterslide from the top of the Washington Monument to the backyard of the White House. What would your first renovation to the White House be? Read More »

Some mulatto dude was recently put in charge of speaking for the American people.  They do this kind of thing every four years or so.  I don't know the details exactly because I stopped watching the news after Local Channel 9's weather girl Sandra Bigenbosom was fired for reasons unrelated to her chest and then the USA Network picked up NCIS and started replaying all the really good Read More »

A waiting room. There are outdated posters on the wall. A man is reading a newspaper, another is staring out the window, a woman is trying to quiet down her kid. Read More »

Darfur: everything you've heard about this war-torn country, if anything, is true...and worse.

A step past genocide, Darfur is in the midst of a gruesome civil war, a struggle for oil between the educated rich north Sudan and the poor black south. Everyday, millions of innocent people are slaughtered in a bloodthirsty ethnic cleansing, a modern-day Holocaust. Read More »

I have made the decision not to shave my junk anymore unless in a relationship. The main reason behind this is I think it's hilarious when I pull my pants down during a one night stand and my fur burger leaps out at them like a caged tiger at the zoo. The girls facial expression is usually priceless. Also, none of these girls have ever just gotten up and walked out. Read More »

There's no reason to write when you've been drinking as much as I have today.  But I have a picks obligation.  So I'm honoring it.  This post will suck.  You have my very drunken word. 

Home teams in CAPS

FALCONS (-1) OVER Saints Read More »

Thank Science the election is over! Read More »

By Jayceon Taylor

Hey, you guys. Lately I've been sensing just a wee bit of confusion about whether I'm a heterosexual or a homosexual. Well, I thought I'd take this moment and clear the air for anybody that's still wondering:

Jayceon is all about the ladies! Read More »