<<<<
Click the notepad to use an
away message
I'm out like the only boy at
a pool party in a Speedo
Hi you have reached (your
name) at the National Sperm Bank Society, right now we are having a
special half off sale... "u jack off, its half off"'... and remember
"you squeeze it, we freeze it" but right now im with a patient so if you
could leave your name and the date you would like and appointment, i'd
be glad to set up a time and get back to you.. thanks! (your name) (Your
secratary at the NSBS)
brb my dog is attacking a
little boy in the street
Before you criticize
someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That way, when you
criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
The phone is ringing. Just
to let you know that if its you, I am hanging up.
No man is worth your tears
and the only one who is will never make you cry.
I'm at my computer, I'm just
too drunk to type anything meaningful right now.
24 hours in a day....24
beers in a case... coincidence?
searching Ebay for magnetic
booties so my cats can climb up the refrigerator!
The lizards callin if ya
know me u'll figure it out if not ask me when i get back
Ya know how when you go to
weddings, aunts and grandmas come up to you, pinching your cheek, saying
"You're next!" Well, they stopped doing that shit when I did it to them
at funerals.
im out like a straight dude
in a gay bar
Hey..If there weren't people
smarter than you how do you know your dumb
Either I'm not here or I'm
deciding to ignore you... Let's hope I'm not here, which means you
should leave a message, unless you think I'm ignoring you. In that case
DON'T leave a message.. I'll leave you with that decision.
There is always a deafening
silence in a crowd whenever I leave a room. Perhaps it's my stunning
wit and grace that leave people in speechless awe. Perhaps a deep
sadness fills the room as my people realize that they will no longer be
graced with my presence. Perhaps it's because I pumped the room full of
nerve gas and everyone is dead.
If you're not part of the
solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.
My father loves telling
people about how much of him rubbed off on me. I'm actually rather
disgusted with this, but most people seem to be okay with it, although
now that I think of it, I don't think he ever bothered to mention that
it was because of the leprosy.
i'm in the shower....bars of
soap around the world are jealous.
A B C D E F G gummie bears are chasing me, one is red and one is blue, and
a yellow one stole my shoe.
I'm out working mine off, so I can kick yours later.
i'm out like dale earnhardt on a stretcher
I'm out trick-or-treating on the highway dressed as a deer,
I'm out like a one-armed man on monkey bars
Im OuT L!kE a StUp!d KiDd iN a SpELLiNg B
im out like a 6 year old in a wet t-shirt contest
Dude! Im like TOTALLY surfing in a puddle right now i will be back later
Bro!
i tried to sniff coke once.....but the ice cubes got stuck!
I'm out like a cheese burger at fat camp.
Right now im usin my sex organs...wanna know how....i ripped off my pants
flung open da door an an sat on da toliet damn i hadda piss....whatchu
think i was doin silly...brb
Hey BRB im partying with my dogs there're getting me drunk with their beer
heres an away msg...wanna play a little game? its called pearl harbor. to
play. you just sit back and let me blow the hell out of you ;-)
If you think life is bad..... How would you like to be an egg? You only
get laid once. You only get eaten once. It takes four minutes to get
hard. Only two minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other
guys!! But worst of all...the only chick that ever sat on your face was
your mother!!! So cheer up, your life isn't that bad!!!!
gone like pie in a room full of fat hungry kids
My lazy ass is watching T.V and doesn't know when it will be back
I'm sleeping, and am dreaming wonderful things...but it's not you
I'm taking a shower because you wouldn't want me stinkin...would ya?
Homework SUX...But it's gotta be done...unfortunately
I am at church right now. Unlike you I don't want to be consumed by the
flames of Hell.
The phone is ringing and apparently I need to answer it when that happens
or it won't stop.
I used to have an open mind but my brains just kept falling apart..
I lost 10 pounds on the Krispy Kreme Diet! ask me how :-D
Do you ever get the feeling that someone's reading your away message?
Being amused by the screensaver..I'll be back.
Hey wait, let me decide I'm here or not... till then please leave your
message. I will get in touch with you once I get out of this confusion.
I'm away, be back when I return.
Picking the fuzz off of my socks. I'll be back when I'm all done.
Hello. Is your fridge running? Well mine is and I'm around the house
trying to catch it. So I'll be back in awhile.
There are 4 kinds of people in the world. One kind is people who are
blinde and cant tell that i have an away messeage up. The 2nd kind is
people who dont have common sense and decided to I.M me any way. The 3rd
kind is people who see the away messeage up and dont im.The 4 kind is
people who have common sense and knows how to use it. Obviously ur
either blind or dont have any common sense at all. Take ur pick.
Loves a sensation caused by temptation when a guys location goes into a
girls destination to increase the population of the next generation use
your imagination to get my explination or do you need a demostration???
I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive until i realized damn suicides a
fuckin crime
I Am A Princess, I Live In The Clouds, If You Wanna Kick It With Me, You
Better Bow Down, So Get On Your Knees, And Call Me Your Highness, Cuz
Baby Believe Me I'm (were ever u from) Finest!
If it wasn't for masterbation, teenage boys would all be serial killers.
Band Geeks may not play sports, but ladies, think about our "technique".
Do jocks practice with their mouths and hands that much?
Hey %n, Why do you view my profile and never leave a message? Why am I
added to your buddy list yet you never send a message or say hello? How
is it you once said you loved me and called me friend or brother or
family and now all you do is hide behind my away messages instead of
seeing if I miss you too.
Love is grand. It is a shame most only play at it and never know what it
is without feeling dependant on someone for it..........
Why is it that girls always complain that guys dont spend as much time
getting ready yet when we take an hour (or 2) shower, they complain and
ask what we are doing in there?
Im out like the black on michael jackson
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ, you're prolly wondering where the p is....its
about to go down my leg in a second!
I am not talking to you, which means I DON'T want to talk to you.
Last night I dreamt I ate a
ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up my pillow was gone
Practice safe sex and being
nice to strangers. Be particularly careful when combining the two.
A is for Academics, B is for
Beer. One of those reasons is why I'm not here
yankee doodle went to town
riding on his mother, every time they hit a bump he got a brand new
brother
Two wrongs don't make a
right but three lefts do
i'm out like a fat kid loves
cake
if u drop a cat out ur
window is it animal abuse or kitty litter...
brb........ sex, drugs, rock n roll, speed, weed, birth control. fuk the
panties, buy a thong, party hard all nite long. drink tequilla take a
shot, fuk a guy u think is hot. lifes a bitch, then u die fuk the world
lets all get high
Hungry? ... Why wait? ...
Grab some McDonald's!!
last night i lay in my bed
looking up at the stars in the sky and i thought to myself, "where the
hell is the ceiling?"
Did you know that 3 out of 4
people make up 75% of the population?
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