It's the 2-year anniversary of me practically being kept prisoner inside this embassy to avoid being kept prisoner for rape charges I don't even remember. I will keep leaking!!
Author: Julian Asange
Those chicks who were locked in that Mexican dude's house in Cleveland for 10 years probably had it pretty damn chill if you think about it.
We lost a lot of money last night. Last night's live blog was a disaster and I'd like to formally apologize on behalf of our two biggest sponsors for it, Cheetos and the National Institute for Suicide Awareness.
Join me tonight as me, Julian Asange, the CEO of Wikileaks cracks some jokes and some soda pops as we watch the NBA Finals together tonight.
Do Americans attack Muslims every time M. Night Shymalan makes a shitty movie? No, they don't. You guys are being super racist right now.
Move over, Ashley Garmany. I'm over you, just like I'm over black people. You've jumped the shark, Ashley Garmany. It's been several months since I re-friend requested you on Facebook, and it hasn't been accepted.
The rapeocalypse is the moment I have been waiting my whole life for because it combines the two best things I could ask for in life: justified rape, and death.
I've got this thing, this WikiLeaks or whatever, and it's successful and pays the bills. But the bills keep getting higher and my dreams grander. So I started fucking girl's asses.
I have a DVD coming out! Yes, that's right, your boy JSange has been filming every single one of my fast food and Wal-Mart fuck sessions and blowjob carnivals!
It's official, Amy Winehouse did not have any illegal drugs in her system at the time of her death. Okay, it's not official, but it's what her family says. Her family, who are probably also on a ton of drugs.