A Halfords Bicycle Nightmare
In England we have a cycling and auto parts store called Halfords. It's kind of like a downsized Walmart meets a downsized Home Depot. And it absolutely sucks.
Born in Belgium, lived there 20 years; moved to England where my askance views of society came to fruition. Look disarming. I.Q. complies with Mensa so please no hatemail unless you are brilliant also. Some guy who writes obscenities, listens to metal and probably hates you. Studied to "get the degree", found passions elsewhere primarily music and porno, but then a career in neither would be realistic (I have two left hands and cum real easy). Work in the publishing industry and have worked for a music webzine going on six years and change now - you could say writing's in my blood like my dick is in the establishment.
In England we have a cycling and auto parts store called Halfords. It's kind of like a downsized Walmart meets a downsized Home Depot. And it absolutely sucks.
Touring and sharing small, intimate spaces with people you don't like being intimate with is tough. But that's just part of the underbelly of band life on the road.
If you're a modern man, chances are you hate women. Don't be afraid, it's natural. After all, they use their vaginas to gain an advantage in life and you can't do that.
When at a party, stare distantly into the wind and say "I loved a woman, once" while sporting a visible erection to increase the manly perception from those around you.
The average IQ in England is 65, a shocking 30 points below the rest of Europe. Its people are fed a diet of hyper-violence, sex, football hooliganism, and soap operas.
At 30, single, tired of the vapidity of most day-to-day women, being an intellectual who smokes pipes, I reluctantly accepted a friend’s suggestion to try speed-dating.
Poetry is the lazy writer's way to express oneself. No wonder it's the perfect starter kit to get you laid! Prepare to be lauded as a genius, both in and out of bed.
Aside from losing my virginity at the not-so-tender age of 24, prostitution is one of the only ways I've gotten laid. But there have been pluses to my exploits.
Some people might accuse you of wasting your time in the gym. There are rules to follow, after all. Rules set by bigger men... and scary women.
All about the vagina and its associated sexual functions, including pubic hair, intercourse, foreplay, orgasms, and birthing. Welcome to Jamie's Mecca of Poon!