I'm a handsome, (relatively) disease-free virgo, looking for that special someone to make my toes curl. My perfect woman would be tall, slender, and preferably have no taste buds. Oh wait, this isn't eHarmony is it? Dammit, I do that all the time. I live in a dumpy little town in West Virginia and typically spend my days contemplating which would be easier: running to the grocery store or committing suicide. The fact that I'm still around probably has something do with not being able to figure out how to work a gun.