These styles are among the greatest, from the sexy ankles men can't get enough of, to the monstrous mutton chops that make the ladies swoon, take a look at some of the most provocative crazes from our favorite century.


1. Ankle Bones

The number one trend of the 1730's also went on to be the top dog of the entire century when Queen Caroline of Brandenburg-Ansbach brought it to life at the parliamentary ball of ‘31. The fad swept the continent, and eventually the world, making the main source of a woman’s confidence her pointy, skeletally pale ankles. The style eventually appended the wearing of multicolored leggings, so that your emaciated, spider web of a foot could also turn smurf.


2. Ruffles Bigger Than the Wearer

If you were an elegant woman of the 18th century, you must have looked like a GMO-pumped garden rose. As the saying went, if you could still see the person in front of you, then sweetheart, you just don’t have enough ruffles. Even though this style had been around for decades, it never lost its charm. Fancy ladies never needed to worry about tripping over their factory-sized ass of ruffles on their way to the party, because they were sure to be carried there by the crowd of men just dying to spend time with them.


3. Trousers With at Least 8 Crotch-Buttons

The 18th-century fella knew that the true road to a lady’s heart was to think first about your private part. Did it have enough closure? Men dreamed of more buttons to seal up their cold little willy, or else walked the dreary road of few buttons. Stockings and trousers of the era featured enough buttons to fill up a butter churn. The refined gent knew that you could always do with an extra button. Five? Sure. Six? Why not? Hell, a courtly lad would cover himself with as many buttons as it took to fill their canyon of self-doubt.


4. Bird’s Nest Wigs

Ah, like a peacock attracts a mate. The grander the feathers, the grander the attraction. If someone had gigantic hair, not only could they use the heavy wig to hammer most nails using their head, but they would also be the hottest, most obsessed-over woman in town. Popular shapes included the “Hammer,” the “Toilet Plunger,” and the “Tornado.”


5. Huge Mutton Chops

The rage of the 80's (the 1780's, obviously) were the iconic “Scat-face” mutton chops, popular with men of the time. With anything larger than what looked like a dead ferret on your face, one would have the yearning of most every maiden in the land. Those good good dookies sitting on your chin would bring you great fortune in the bedroom and at the breakfast table, as these handsome accessories sufficed not only as an attraction but as storage devices for any scraps of egg or radish devoured earlier in the day. A marvelously charming and useful fashion of the time.


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