So, you want the inside scoop on Snuffy? Gathering some facts on Big Bird’s best pal? Well, here’s the cold, hard truth: Mr. Snuffalupagus wasn’t imaginary at all.

Oh, what’s that? You were led to believe that Big Bird was the only one that could see Snuffy?

Well, you’re wrong. Snuffalupagus wasn’t even invisible.

So, what does this all mean?

A furry pachyderm getting the silent treatment from his entire neighborhood, that’s what.

For a few years, Snuffy was able to keep the grift up at his best buddy’s expense.

Ask any resident on Sesame Street. They could see Snuffy just fine. Truth is, though, they didn’t like the fellow very much. Turns out that hairy elephant with the big, sleepy eyes was a crook. Snuffalupagus was a downright dirty liar and he’d steal anything that wasn’t pinned down. Right down the block there still stands a pawn shop where this rotten mammoth sold all the goods and wares he could get his hands on.

Ever notice how Oscar’s trash can lid changed sizes slightly between ‘89 and ‘90? If you thought it was some exterior redecorating, you thought wrong, bub. That lid got snuffled, Jack, you can bet your nose on it. Same thing goes for Grover’s nose.

For a few years, Snuffy was able to keep the grift up at his best buddy’s expense. Who’d believe Big Bird when he told them a giant furry elephant stole Gordon’s wallet? The folks got suspicious, and for a while, the Bird was the word. Then Telly’s favorite pair of slacks were gone like that, Mack.

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And who was there when the police showed up?

You guessed it, Big Bird.

“No, no! It was Mr. Snuffleupagus!” the Bird sang.

But there was no use. Those coppers figured they caught this canary yellow-handed. Big Bird was locked in the ol’ Sesame Street slammer. That is, until the forensics team came forward with some startling new evidence.

Bunson Honeydew and his loyal assistant Beaker were able to prove there was somebody else in the room when Telly’s trousers were taken. In the biggest press junket in Sesame Street’s history, Beaker laid it out for the whole neighborhood: “Mee mee moo meeper.” A foot-long eyelash found under Telly’s dresser. DNA tests revealed that it belonged to one Aloysius J. Snuffleupagus.

All at once, the newly outed Snuffy was excommunicated by all of Sesame Street. Even Elmo, friend to all, turned away from his new neighbor. In some sort of Stockholm Syndrome-like twist of events, it was Big Bird who championed the criminal the most.

“You don’t understand, gang,” Bird told his neighbors. “Snuffy is a child of divorce! He’s a product of his environment.” But the Muppets kept it up with the cold shoulder.

Mr. Hooper, the local grocery store owner, loaded Snuffy into the back a truck and headed for the rural Midwest, where the wooly mammoth was dropped off for good.

It’s said that Snuffy is still hitchhiking his way back home, and on a quiet night, you can still hear him asking, “Can you tell me how to get… how to get to Sesame Street?”

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