By clicking on the box below, you are agreeing to the terms and conditions of the use of this software.

We reserve the right to observe you as you use the program.

We reserve the right to access your Facebook page, your email, your online banking, and your porn.

We reserve the right to meet in chat rooms as well as in real life. You're to pay for any motel rooms we share.

We reserve the right to abduct your children and force them into indentured servitude, where they may be asked to stand in front of our corporate offices dressed in whatever stupid mascot costume we see fit while holding a large arrow pointing to our building.

We reserve the right to occupy your house and use it as a base in any corporate war we engage in with our competitors. You are required to pledge allegiance to our cause and to not ask questions. If you are captured, we will deny any knowledge of your existence—you will be issued a suicide pill to swallow if you are to be interrogated.

We reserve the right to use your bathroom at any and all hours of the day or night and not flush and to use your bath towels to wipe our corporate asses with. We also reserve the right to soak our socks on your bathroom sink

We reserve the right to reserve other rights right when we think them up which may include but are not limited to: shotgun marriage or taxation without representation. If you refuse to comply, we will burn you at the stake as a witch.

We reserve the right to remain silent and if we give up the right to remain silent, everything we say can and will be used against you in a kangaroo court of law.

We reserve the right to have reservations about reserving any more rights either now or in the upcoming future, unless, of course, we change our minds, and then we won’t have any reservations at all about doing unspeakable things to your hardware, your software, your underwear or your swimwear.

We last but not at the very least reserve the right to reserve the very best table at the most expensive restaurant in your surrounding area and to charge it to your credit card. You are invited to attend but are not required to and if you attend we would prefer it if you arrive 30 minutes late and sit at a table somewhere far from ours and pretend not to know us.

If you agree with these rights, then you obviously have not read any of it or are so beaten down trying to read the 2 point font print that you don’t give a rat’s ass. In any case, please click on the “I agree” button to confirm your agreement. We only find it fair to warn you that if you click on the “decline” button, either on purpose or if your cat walked over the mouse, that your computer (and your house, apartment, mobile home, etc.) will explode and parts of your dental remains will be found in many adjoining counties (and think of the poor cat) and we are not responsible for cleaning up any of it.

Thank you and have a nice day.


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