When I think of the way I used to be, I can’t help but cringe. It was all about money and belongings. I spent my days stressing out about getting a new iPhone or flat-screen TV, wondering what new car or video game system would be the next thing to tickle my fancy.
What was wrong with me?
I’ve changed a lot recently. Still, I can’t help but be ashamed of the way I used to be.
I guess I should just be happy that buying this Buddha statue on Amazon made me the person I am today.
I know I’m still not entirely perfect. Sometimes I meditate and forget to tweet about it.
In the old days, I used to be a much angrier person. Today? I posted on Facebook saying, “Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”
It’s a Buddha quote.
And of course, in my angry and materialistic fervor, I’m sad to say my spiritual life fell by the wayside. I would never take the time out of my day to tweet about meditating or reblog a Pope Francis quote on Tumblr.
Today I would consider myself deeply spiritual. Not religious or anything like that, because that’s just not as deep as what I’m into, you know?
Of course, some less enlightened people have criticized me for my newfound spirituality. They’ve said things like, “Buddhism is a complex religion with hundreds of millions of followers worldwide,” or, “You’re drinking red wine and eating a steak right now!” Some have even dared to say, “You can’t just say, ‘Follow your own spiritual path as I follow mine,’ to everybody who criticizes you, you moronic asswipe!”
To them I say: Follow your own spiritual path as I follow mine.
I know I’m still not entirely perfect. Sometimes I meditate and forget to tweet about it. Other times I forget to give my Buddha statue bottles of Fiji water from the fridge (which a friend told me you’re supposed to do to make sure the little guy is comfortable).
And, if I’m to be completely honest, as much as I encourage guests in my home to rub Buddha’s belly a few times for good luck, I also get mad at them for taking all of the luck from the room. I could have used that luck to get a promotion and be able to afford a second Buddha statue.
But I know I’m growing every day, spiritually and emotionally. I’m learning to doubt my own perceptions and bring myself closer to enlightenment. And as ashamed as I am of my past self, I will never apologize.
Because to quote Buddha: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”