There is an easy way to write comedy on the internet. Most of it involves putting witty captions on random pictures that have little to do with what you're actually writing about. And everyone loves a good list. I can title my article "The Top 5 Ways to Get a Blumpkin" and if somebody links to it, then hundreds of billions of people will read it because they actually want to know how to get a blumpkin.

An awesome name on a YouTube video is how trillions of people got Rickrolled. The actual article is less complicated. Sometimes the title of the article is a kind of advice like the blumpkin thing up there. But there's another kind of list that's just as common, and, for the most part, more amusing. That is, of course, the list of things that have absolutely nothing to do with anything that would be normally considered sane or remotely interesting. Things like, "The 16 Worst Ways Doctors Rape You" is an example I just thought of.

Now, if anyone reads this, which they probably won't, you might be thinking, "Hey! The way I am being raped by my doctor is very interesting to me! I may not have even known I was being raped before you told me by naming your article that!"

That's fine. Actually, if an article with that title ever appears on CNN, I advise you to read it immediately. However, if that article appears on PIC, then it's not serious advice, it's just someone making jokes. And for the record, you probably are being raped by your doctor, but hopefully only metaphorically raped. And I don't condone rape. Unless you TOTALLY have to. You know, like if you were drunk and she was hot.

Whatever. Moving on.

So the title is really half the battle. You can get people to read your shit just by making it sound awesome. If I recorded a CD and named it "Guns Babes Lemonade" then you would probably want to listen to it. Well there is an album called that. Listen to it.

But you get the idea. An awesome name on a YouTube video is how trillions of people got Rickrolled. The actual article is less complicated. Everything basically follows the same format. If you can come up with that catchy title, then you can write something funny. For content, use this as an example:

"3 Ways Dinosaurs Totally Fucked Up Our Lives"

1. Billions of years ago, dinosaurs got tired of fucking and went extinct. Therefore, in 1492, when Columbus fingered the Pope and went to America, the birth of Raptor Jesus was inevitable.

Raptor Jesus funny
Humorous Caption

Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah Blah was a total douchebag. Blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah eating shit more than once a day. Blah blah.

Blah blah restraining order.

Just do that a couple more times and your list is complete.

Good job. Fuck you.

Join the PIC newsletter for weekly comedy headlines. Save 10% on comedy classes at The Second City using code PIC.