Hi,

This is Jimmy from Wikipedia. I'm going to be honest with you: I need your help.

Last Sunday at brunch, when the check came, I happily put down my credit card for the table. But it's now been a week since our meal and, frankly, I still haven't been paid back.

So, today, I'm writing to you to ask, one last time: please consider donating your portion of the brunch into my Venmo account.

This is not a for-profit operation. I am not making money off this. I volunteered to pay because I knew this restaurant couldn't split the check twelve ways and there was no chance in hell we had enough cash. But I took this action under the impression that I would be paid back, by everyone, immediately and in full.

I don't like sending these messages. Here's an incredible statistic: if 100% of people at the brunch paid me back right now, you would never have to hear from me again.

We don't have a lot of time left. I've already clicked “Remind” on all the Venmo charges, to no avail. In another week, we will have passed the point of no return. At that time, somehow, it becomes more socially unacceptable for me to keep bothering than for you not to pay me. So I urge you to take action now.

Last month, you Venmo'd me $18 for the Surf and Turf at Applebees and I was eternally grateful. If you could simply match that donation today, it would truly go a long way. After tax and tip, you probably owe more, but, truly, I'll take what I can get at this point. At the very least, I know you had the vegetarian omelette and two mimosas. I thought we all shared those beignets, but if you say you didn't have one, I believe you.

Our monthly brunches were founded on the idea of trust, so I'm asking you today, humbly, to consider paying me back so we can continue brunching in the future.

Thanks,
Jimmy from Wikipedia

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