WVU Co-Ed Forced into Group Studying

College, a time that is normally looked back on fondly as a source of great memories and good times, has forever been tainted for a young co-ed late last Friday
night. Jodie Hampton, a sophomore Physical Education major, has reported that she was forced into participating in a barrage of learning exercises and study groups in the
basement of West Virginia University’s Wise Library.



When reached for comment, Hampton confessed that she heard stories of such occurrences but didn’t believe it could happen to her.

“They always tell you those stories when you are an incoming freshman, you know… like always have a buddy when you are near the library, stuff like
that. I just always thought it was an urban legend kinda thing, y’know? I mean, what they made me do… I’m not that kind of girl.”



According to reports by witnesses in the library staff, several members of the Gamma Alpha Epsilon Honorary Fraternity cornered Ms. Hampton near the group study tables in the
lower level of the library.



Says Senior Librarian Doug Roberts, “I should’ve stepped in. Something was fishy about the whole situation; she was being so… used. They had her sit at the
table with a stack of flash cards and they would take turns being quizzed by her on atomic weights. Just one after the next, after the next, after the next….”



Members of the Fraternity, however, claim that nothing malicious took place that night at the library, and in fact, all studying that took place was completely consensual.



“She never once said that she didn’t want to study. She was eager to help us learn and said that she didn’t even want us to help her study in return. She even
suggested that she helped us all study as a group,” said Montgomery Sinclair, a junior double major in Biophysics and Latin and GAE West Virginia Chapter Head. “She
liked it.”



Other students at the library have been questioning the character of Hampton and also wonder about whether the instance was really forced studying. Undeclared freshman, Joey
Peterson was in the library the night of the alleged incident.



“Yo, I know what I saw. There is no chance that she didn’t go down there knowing exactly what was gonna happen. I mean, the way she dressed? Jeans? A sweatshirt? No
make-up? Ponytail? She wanted to study. You don’t go to the library by yourself dressed like that unless you were planning on learning something…you just
don’t. Besides, I heard earlier this semester that Jodie is a total closet-nerd. She will study with anyone.”



These character attacks on Ms. Hampton have been contradicted by claims from fellow Physical Education major, sophomore Caitlin Hall.



“She is NOT a nerd. She’s just not that type of girl. I have known Jodie for two years now and I can tell you that she is a total slut. She would never be studying
in the library on a Friday night. She would never willingly help prove the Schrödinger equation; they forced her. They forced her and they need to be held accountable. This
has been going on too long on this campus. Too many girls have been forced into all-nighter study sessions. It’s time that girls can go out and feel free to get drunk and
have sex with guys we’ve never met without worrying about being forced into learning mathematic laws and foreign languages. It’s time to take back the
night!”



Members of the community and university have been divided and tensions have raised between those with high and low GPAs. Many have questioned what exactly Ms. Hampton was doing
in the library basement on a Friday night in the first place.



Ms. Hampton was questioned on her way to a friend’s house and told reporters, “I was walking past the library on my way to a party and I thought I saw one of my
friends go in and down to the basement. I wanted to talk with her so I went in. It was dumb and irresponsible I know, but that doesn’t excuse what happened to me. It
doesn’t excuse what they did.”



Hampton went on to say that studying wasn’t the only thing that took place that night. She also feels that she was drugged and under the influence throughout the
night.



“I didn’t see her so I put my water bottle down on the table so I could get my cell phone out and call her. They always say don’t leave your drink in the
library. Why, oh why didn’t I listen? They must’ve put it in my drink then because soon after that I was feeling extremely focused and goal oriented… they
Adderall-ed me.”



Adderall is a popular drug used among honorary fraternities and sororities to help students concentrate and perform in all night or group study situations.



The incident has raised important ethical questions, most notably what is to come of the knowledge that Hampton now has inside of her.



“I didn’t ask for this to happen to me, I was just out planning on having a good time with my friends and now I have unwanted knowledge to deal with. What happens if
I perform well on a test? Can I have the teacher lower it accordingly? How can I explain it to my parents if I get an A on a test? Every time I go home the test will be there on
the refrigerator door staring back at me, could I live with myself if I flushed it down a toilet or threw it away? I never wanted this to happen.”