Trump Administration Sends: Rex Tillerson
Utah Jazz Send: First-Round Pick (Top-5 Protected 2018, Unprotected 2019)

It has been clear since day one that the Donald-Rex pairing was doomed to fail. The chemistry has just not been there. Trump needs a Secretary of State that can speak disparagingly about Muslims and hit the occasional open three. That’s just not Tillerson’s game and the Administration better move on from him before he walks in free agency for nothing.

A first-rounder would have been a valuable asset to have for when a disagreeable enough Statesperson became available.


Trump Administration Sends: Rick Perry, Second Round Pick
Memphis Grizzlies Send: Tyreke Evans

The Trump Administration rolled the dice with Perry last year and it just hasn’t worked out the way the administration had hoped. Rick has had trouble not being the most oblivious guy in the room. Let’s face it, he’s a Batman and he’s had trouble filling the Robin role.

Memphis had made it clear that Tyreke Evans was available and it feels like this deal would have benefited both teams.


Trump Administration Sends: Betsy Devos and Steve Mnuchin
Boston Celtics Send: Kyrie Irving

Sure, Boston didn’t publicly have Irving on the market, but one has to believe that a package of Betsy Devos and Steve Mnuchin would have piqued Boston’s interest. Irving not only matches Devos’s production from a disbelief in modern science standpoint, but add in ball handling skills, the likes of which haven’t been seen in the White House since Al Gore, and you would be looking at a real title contender right now.

Additionally, moving Mnuchin’s salary would have opened up cap space for post-midterms 2018.


Trump Administration Sends: Jim Mattis
Sacramento Kings Send: Vince Carter, Zach Randolph

Sure, getting rid of the likes of Jim Mattis would have been tough. But when you get the chance to trade one adult in the room for two adults in the room, you have to take it. Carter and Randolph would have provided the grown-up presence that you need to grind out wins late in June. This was a glaring missed opportunity.


Trump Administration Sends: Sarah Huckabee Sanders
Golden State Warriors Send: Draymond Green

This deal likely wouldn’t have moved the needle for either team, but would have been interesting from a league entertainment perspective. Would Sanders have shined with a more talented supporting cast in Oakland? Would Draymond have shined as a number one option in D.C.?

Certainly would have been fun to see.

We're now accepting list submissions! Although we're contractually prohibited from telling you whether Santa had anything to do with that decision. Join the PIC newsletter for weekly comedy headlines. Save 10% on comedy classes at The Second City using code PIC.