What’s in a name? More specifically, what’s in a performer’s name? My iPod is one massive mega-playlist filled with hand-picked rock theatrics and badass girl power, creatively categorized ONLY by the singer/band names. That’s right, I’ve configured my playlist according to wordplay generated from wildly-named music artists. Aha! It’s true. I do it. How could it be? Hear me out.

With my freakish talent for cobbling together artist names, I believe I will become music royalty.I’ve retooled the notion of mood-centric playlists. The burning secret? I’m a playful DJ. Finding the right songs to play at just the right time is one of life’s great conundrums. Soooo, I focus on the artist’s name instead. A quick tap and I go from bleary-eyed Blur to Imagine Dragons to needing an herbal Tonic STAT.

The main takeaway here is that I take artist names literally.

Curating a playlist based solely on music artist names is an oft-praised music service that only recently became available due to the fact that I just made it up. You won’t be interrupted every so often with audio ads because I just made it up. You’re not limited on how many song skips you get per hour because this "innovation" is mine and mine alone. No syncing required because, you guessed it, I call the shots. I’m kind of a hero.

Say you like both the bands Judas Priest and Sister Hazel. Good for you; you’re already on your way to completing your very own artist name playlist generator. What band would equalize these two?

Godsmack band photo

Godsmack. Naturally. Take your shoes off and enjoy that algorithm buzz. The soundscape experts can keep their streamlined folders. I prefer my crazy mosh-pit. My playlist is like a haiku ripped from the pages of a Goth storybook. Science Fact: This playlist won’t improve your bedroom singing.

What goes well with All-American Rejects? The Misfits. Why do we dance to the Pixies? Because Cute Is What We Aim For. TV On The Radio + Radiohead = definitely acceptable. Halestorm + The Weather Girls = aaaaahhhhh hello rainbow. How do you get to Miami Sound Machine? Easy. You become a Flo Rida aboard the Florida Georgia Line. With my freakish talent for cobbling together artist names, I believe I will become music royalty.

Channel all those emotions that are intertwined with music, create a dimly lit club atmosphere, and get going on your very own playlist. Don’t forget the cocktails. Dive right in. It’s like a Choose Your Own Adventure Infinite Playlist. Wait. Make that a Choose Your Own Adventure Infinite Playlist®©TM. (Lawyers.) PS: Yes, I’m single and often at a nearby IHOP in the late hours of the night. Or at a local bowling alley. And I’m usually drinking—lots of drinking.

Here’s a list of musical couplings to weave into one continuous matrix. Just add more vodka.

Wham! & MAGIC! = P!nk

LL Cool J & Coolio = Coldplay

Oingo Boingo & Chumbawamba = Bad English

Thelonious Monk & 10,000 Maniacs = Quiet Riot

Eddie Money & Breaking Benjamin = Azealia Banks

London Grammar & Editors = The Neighbourhood

Veruca Salt & Salt-N-Pepa = Aqua

Talking Heads & Lit = The Verve

Saving Abel & Saving Jane = Dr. Dre

Johnny Cash & Ca$h Out = Cash Cash

Spice Girls & Little Mix = Flavor Flav

Owl City & The Who = Screaming Trees

Badly Drawn Boy & Poe = Artist vs. Poet

Neutral Milk Hotel & Tokio Hotel = Trapt

American Authors & The Script = LMFAO

Guns N’ Roses & Pistol Annies = The Killers

Simple Minds & Simply Red = Simple Plan

Mr. Mister & Twisted Sister = Busta Rhymes

Walk the Moon & Thirty Seconds to Mars = Galactic

Seether & Weezer & Massive Attack = Megadeth

Letters to Cleo & 50 Cent = The Postal Service

Ariana Grande & Little Big Town = A Great Big World

Christina Perri & Katy Perry = The Band Perry

One Direction & Rush & Passenger & Train = Metro Station

Tony Bennett & Toni Braxton & Toni Basil = Tony! Toni! Toné!

Flyleaf & Blue October & Smashing Pumpkins = Blessthefall

Sleigh Bells & Sister Sledge & Snow Patrol = Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Elliott Smith & Sam Smith & The Smiths & Aerosmith = Echosmith

Five Finger Death Punch & Dropkick Murphys & Knife Party = First Aid Kit

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