Court Sullivan, I swear to you, is actually an upstanding citizen of this great country of ours. No, it's true. He's not the guy you think he is, unless you think he's a surprisingly decent, normal fellow.

Which you don’t. I know you don’t. Look, I get it, okay? I can hear you laughing in disbelief now. You’re skeptical, to put it lightly. But hear me out, will you? Sure, he can be rough around the edges, to say the least, but can't we all? Does that mean he's the monster most people believe him to be? God damn it, no.

You're just gonna have to trust me. Court Sullivan. Yes, that Court Sullivan, is – I fucking pinky promise – really a good guy underneath it all. No, he is! Stop laughing.

I know I have a LOT to overcome to convince you that Court Sullivan even deserves to breathe the same air as you and I.

Court has come a long way. Sure, he's done some stuff he's not proud of, but he will face his maker on his judgment day to answer for those choices just like the rest of us, okay? I know what you're saying. You're saying no fucking way does Court have a drop of good in any inch of his body. But he does! Please believe me.

Just take a chance on Court, okay? Just put everything aside and believe. Cast aside your preconceived notions, your better judgment, and your misguided permanent distrust and apprehension towards him. Cast all that aside and roll the dice. Take  gamble on the guy. Have faith that he's grown and changed. He's not the man he once was. He's for realsies a pretty alright guy.

Look, I’m not gonna sit here and say to you that Court Sullivan has never made any disastrous mistakes. That he hasn’t done things that would make Lucifer cringe. We’ve all heard the stories. We’ve all seen the documents. But what I will say is that he’s a guy, just like me or you. And we’re all connected and shit.

Okay, I get it, you still have doubts. I know I have a LOT to overcome to convince you that Court Sullivan even deserves to breathe the same air as you and I. He’s done so much that it’s hard to know where to begin to start attempting to somewhat take away from all of that. But just remember that he is deeply sorry, he’s trying to come out of the hole/bloodbath/inferno he’s enveloped everyone in as a better person. He’s trying to learn from it all because that’s all he can do. That’s all any of us can do. We can’t look back. We can’t. It’s too much.

We just have to completely repress everything he’s done and said throughout most of his life and pretend like it never happened. We just have to start over. Yes, we’ll be deluding ourselves by burying the past, but if we don’t bottle it up, terrible things probably will happen.

So have I sold you on the idea yet? I’m not judging you for the extremely low things you think of this person, the hate/disgust/fear/anger/mistrust of him that you hold. I’m right there with you. But I’m telling you, it’s not like that anymore. Contrary to popular belief, Court respects the mental and physical well-being of the elderly, he wouldn’t rape a fly, and he thinks people in wheelchairs deserve to live a life free of being publicly ashamed, ridiculed, harassed, stalked, pushed off of Walmart roofs into dumpsters, and repeatedly demonized.

So what do you say, huh? How bout it?! Let’s trust Court Sullivan and not think twice. Court Sullivan can be trusted. He’s not going to do anything to jeopardize any personal or professional relationships. He is a good guy who just wants to do right. So don’t have any hesitation with anything regarding Court. Let him be a part of your life in whatever capacity. What could go wrong?*

*Wait, don’t answer that.


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