Holiday Greetings to All from the Millers,

Another year has passed and the extended Miller family has been blessed with good fortune, good friends, and good lawyers who kept our youngest out of jail, not once but twice this year!

Weird family Christmas photo dressed as Christmas trees

As the holidays approach, we are reminded of the admonition that it is better to give than to receive. With that in mind, I am excited to share with you that my husband says he has arranged for a big surprise for me this year and a special process server will be delivering it to me here at the house on Christmas Eve! Sooooo excited!

But I get ahead of myself. This past year was full of "firsts" in the Miller family. Johnny is taking his driver’s license exam for the first time since losing his license last year. And our sweet baby Paul had his first taste of freedom and independence when we inadvertently left him at the mall after a marathon shopping spree on Black Friday. Such a quiet child, it’s hard to notice him at all.

Last May was graduation season and the Miller family was popping champagne bottles galore when Lizzie graduated from rehab (again). And Emilie also graduated, after successfully completing her sixth year of high school! So proud of both of those girls.

Bobby was passed over for promotion again this year but thanks to intensive therapy and cases of gin, he is optimistic that his shortcomings will be overlooked next year. For obvious reasons, he looks forward to his retirement in a few years, but I don’t. I married him "for better or worse" but not for lunch. Never for lunch. And if I’m totally honest, not for worse, either.

RELATED:  How to Network (With Your Parents) in Hollywood

We were fortunate to be able to celebrate our wedding anniversary this year with so many friends and family at Chuck E. Cheese’s. The sticky floors and prize tickets brought back so many happy memories of childhood and a few that weren’t so pleasant, like the ones involving the inebriated adult in the Chuck E. Cheese costume spewing profanities at me and my friends. But enough about me!

Little Teddy is now toilet-trained and has given up his binkies for good this time! Gotta love middle school! Our darling first-born daughter Sue continues to amaze us with her vocal skills, singing the national anthem at the Thanksgiving football game along with the rest of the stadium! And her ebook about how to sing has been published on Amazon.com, something Hemmingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald never figured out how to do.

Our son Eric continues to be a pistol and a firecracker and basically the whole damned arsenal. It’s hard to know where to start with him but in reverse chronological order, he’s finally out of jail after borrowing the neighbor’s car in the middle of the night and returning it into Boston Harbor. But it wasn’t his fault. I blame it on the tequila. And whose son hasn’t done something like that every now and again! Boys will be boys and our Eric sure is a boy, which I say not meaning to denigrate any boy who isn’t sure of his gender. I know that’s very "in" right now. I read the tabloids.

But we Millers prefer to focus on the happy times this past year instead of the arrests, incarcerations, pregnancy scares, lie detector tests and paternity lawsuits. So from our home to yours, the Millers wish you a joyous holiday with copious amounts of holiday cheer and eggnog laced with booze.

RELATED:  Emergency Meeting of the Disciples: Jesus is a Lousy Carpenter

Love and sloppy wet kisses from all of us Millers!

Janet (not a Miller)

Suggested next: